I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
