she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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