can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize