My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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