i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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