Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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