Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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