My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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