woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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