question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
