I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize