When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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