So drunk, too bad you don't want this
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
