you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
