now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Then you guys just all showered together...?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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