i think my mom watched the whole time
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
