whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
