He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize