The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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