Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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