Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
