The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize