capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We left the knife in your bed.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
