can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
