I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
