just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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