Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize