i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
