Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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