I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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