I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
