I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
