it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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