Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
