I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
