its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
