i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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