no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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