Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Randomize
