Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
PANTIES FOUND
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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