What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
