Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
