so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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