I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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