So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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