The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize