My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
