dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
