we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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