i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
