There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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