She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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