Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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