Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
