A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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