East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
