He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
