goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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