How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize