all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
