Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
