you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
