My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
