did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
