somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
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drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
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Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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