Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
this boner is exhausting
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
