Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
