I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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